i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
