a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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