Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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