you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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