i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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