he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
