they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
