I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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