Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks