Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel

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(330): View more from Ohio

Every perfect package comes with a warning label.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.

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(516): View more from New York

you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.

(1-516): View more from New York

right. well we all have our lows.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?

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(917): View more from New York City

I am lonely and I want to touch your beard

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(425): View more from Washington

I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.

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(61): View more from Australia

I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her

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