Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?