well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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