Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.