so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
did i walk over a car last night?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
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I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
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I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.