I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her