eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
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