he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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