Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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