yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
