Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
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I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
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On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
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