i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Its about making memories worth repressing
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
