I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
