Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
