So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
