my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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