Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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