You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
