she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize