his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
