I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
