No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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