You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
This house was built for laser tag.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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