Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
