Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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