I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I seem to have left my pride at pride
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
