I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
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