I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
