I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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