Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Lo siento on account of my penis...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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