He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
