Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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