I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
