Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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