Nicole vs. Life
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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