I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
