he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
