I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
