i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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