She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
