i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
