you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
