Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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