So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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