be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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