the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
ok first of all what the fuck
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
