Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize