My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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