I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
