it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
