she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
