That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
