i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
