pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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