Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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