i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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