Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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