there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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