Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
