Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
