At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
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You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
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I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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