I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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