i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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