I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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