i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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