I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
