The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
