Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
