i love accidental penises.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
