evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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