You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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