Pants 0. Shit 1.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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