I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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